In my first few weeks here, I found that people were looking at me strangely, some even giving me the death glare. I couldn't figure it out.
did I have food in my teeth?
were my pants unzipped?
And then I found it: they thought I was a crazy person.
Before I get to the reason, I need to give some background info about Americans. Excluding big cities, parts of the East Coast and Southern California, people are generally overly friendly throughout the USA. Particularly in regards to smaller US towns (my home town had less than 8000 people), I would make the broad generalization that if you pass a stranger on the sidewalk or driving down the lane, you would exchange a smile and a wave, and--most likely--a 'hello' as well. In the same way, if you are taking part in a slightly more personal interaction, such as checking out at the grocery store, you would add in a little small talk, such as:
"how are you today" and "nice weather outside."
This often extends further towards the exchange of personal information with the checkout guy:
"Well, I'm actually really tired...I just got off of a 10 hour shift at work. I'm just stopping by the store to pick up some beers on my way home to watch the game."
or...
"Yeah, it's beautiful out; my family is heading down to the lake in a couple hours to enjoy it. We're going to have a barbecue out there. Do you have any big plans for the weekend?"
OR...
"Actually I'm not doing so well today. I ate a spicy burrito last night and spent the whole morning on the toilet."
Is this personal? YES. It is too much information?
YES.
Do people still feel the need to swap information with a complete stranger, even if all they can think of is their spicy burrito?
YES.
If the grocery checkout line is too long, it is customary to turn to the person behind you and crack a not-very-funny joke:
"Wow, I haven't waited in line this long since Harry Potter came out. Ha Ha."
These jokes are often followed up by polite laughter and agreement:
"Ha, yeah I think I could have driven home twice by now. Huh huh huh."
Interactions such as these usually occur out of a genuine sense of friendliness and sometimes even interest.
But it goes deeper than that. Culturally, this stuff is expected. You could be busy, distracted, or angry and still would put on a smile for small talk with the stranger waiting at the same bus stop as you. Sometimes it's not even just to be nice but it's more the fact that you feel so uncomfortable in the presence of another human being without making some sort of interaction that even if you're not in the mood to speak to anyone, you would still go as far to consider the other person terribly rude if they didn't at least say hello or smile.
Americans like to talk...what can I say?
This is where I come from. This is what I do.
So, back to my story. I couldn't seem to understand why every time I greeted a stranger with a big smile and a hello, they either looked at me in confusion or asked me for money. Apparently my sense of duty to interact with the strangers around me is not necessary here. In fact, it even scares people a little bit.
So I've calmed my greetings down to a slight nod of the head accompanied by an easy smile. It seems to work, but I still get asked for money...
